The Atari VCS: Aw hells no

 

After months of teasing, Atari, unveiled the Atari VCS. The company’s newest console since it went out of style after Nintendo kicked it in the ass with the NES/Famicom.

Observe launch trailer:

This is crap.

It’s all:

“Hey, we Atari, we baaack!”

“Hey, we made new console, it’s shiny!”

“Hey, new Atari is awesome!”

There is barely any games announced. The 1995 commercial of the Sony PlayStation previewed games like “Mortal Kombat” and “Tekken.” Even the original launch of the Nintendo Entertainment System in the ’80s, things were far interesting, at least they showed us “Duck Hunt.”

Observe!

So exactly what is the Atari VCS? Yes, it’s pretty, but so was the Ouya, and that crap hit the bucket like sniper Thwomp from Mario Maker. The few games they previewed us, which were all shown in less than a second, and quite frankly, doesn’t seem appealing. They look like mobile apps. If the Atari VCS is just a box to cast mobile apps on the screen, then we don’t need the VCS. We can just play on our smartphones — it’s portable too!

I am disappointed. Less talk. More showy. I want to see what games we can play on that thing. I want to see Atari exclusives. There’s no freaking way I’m going to trade my Steam, GOG, Origins, PS, Nintendo, or even Microsoft, for an Atari VCS that can’t even give us a decent preview what kind of games that thing can run.

Oh, it has voice assistant. Maybe it’s powered by Amazon’s Alexa or Google Home. If that’s the case, no thanks. The Atari VCS is nothing but a novelty item.

But I’ll reserve further judgments until after E3. I could be wrong. More news could happen till then. For the most part, to play classic Atari games for that small box of nothing. I’m going to pass.

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