Beat the Fit into yo Back! No? Ugh. Cringe.

This motherfucker here is the Plantronics BackBeat Fit 500.

Based on the picture, it’s splashproof, so go ahead and run wild under the harsh torrent of piss from the sky! Yippee-ki-yay!

But ok for real-sies now. I got a hold of this and took it out for a spin. And hey, you know? It’s not bad. The audio is crisp and the Bluetooth range is pretty damn good. You won’t know you’re missing your phone until you’re on the other side of the city. Yeah, it’s a sweet deal plus, despite thick walls and glass getting in our way, music flowed seamlessly.


It’s comfy in the ears too. It doesn’t cancel noise, so you can technically still hear outside environments and people will hear your guilty pleasures in music.

The left earcup has the play/pause, forward, back buttons. Nothing special there. The right cup has the mic button. Long press it and your hot voice assistant will be serving your whim.

Double press the mic button and it will dial a number. At least that’s what happened to me. I assumed this was meant to re-dial the last number you called but from my experience the dialed number was someone I haven’t called for a couple of days. Maybe I’m just stupid.

Do I really need to go into further detail about this? No? Awesome. But I will anyway. There’s the standard jack at the bottom for those who aren’t too keen on the whole wireless thing. It’s always nice to be given options, right? Even though the drive of technology forward is a wireless, interconnected world. 

A vision of the future where your smart car can detect your smart headphone, and will recognize your voice and automatically open, and the engines will rev as soon as you stick your butt in the seat. 

For someone dumb as I am when it comes to writing stuff and gizmos, the Plantronics BackBeat Fit 500 gets a certified DAMN!

I have an extra photo of the headphones and I don’t know what to do with it, so gaze upon it one more time with the slick Plantronics logo.

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Assassin’s Creed Rogue: Remastered (wtf)

Okay. So I got a press release from Ubisoft about the Remastered version of Rogue. Wasn’t this like the worst in the series? 

It did have nice navay battles if I remember correctly. In any case.

Press release follows:

Ubisoft announced that Assassin’s Creed® Rogue Remastered will be available on March 20, 2018, for PlayStation®4 Pro and Playstation®4 computer entertainment systems, and across the Xbox One family of devices, including Xbox One X. Assassin’s Creed Rogue Remastered will include all of the downloadable content from the original game: two bonus missions (The Armor of Sir Gunn Quest and The Siege of Fort de Sable), as well as the Master Templar and Explorer packs, which contain weapons, customization items and special outfits, including Bayek’s legacy outfit from Assassin’s Creed® Origins.

Created by Ubisoft Sofia, the studio that developed the original Assassin’s Creed Rogue, this remaster further enriches the franchise’s current-gen catalogue and will shine in 4K on PlayStation®4 Pro and Xbox One X (and run 1080p on PS4™ and Xbox One). Thanks to higher resolution, improved environment rendering, visual effects and textures, Assassin’s Creed Rogue Remastered will offer an even more beautiful and immersive gaming experience that invites fans of the series and new players alike to discover or rediscover Shay’s adventures in 18th-century North America.

Initially launched on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 in 2014, Assassin’s Creed Rogue tells the unique story of Shay Patrick Cormac, a fearless young member of the Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood who undergoes a dark and slow transformation from an Assassin to a grim and committed Templar who hunts down his former brothers. Players’ journeys will take them from beautiful New York City to the Wild River Valley and icy cold waters of the North Atlantic.
Assassin’s Creed is an action-adventure series set in fully realized open worlds, throughout notable times in history such as the Third Crusade, the Golden Age of Pirates and the Industrial Revolution. Initially launched in 2007, the Assassin’s Creed franchise has since transcended video games to offer new and immersive experiences in comic books, mobile games, novels and even movies. Recognized for having some of the richest, most engrossing storytelling in the industry, Assassin’s Creed games have sold more than 105 million units worldwide, and the franchise is now established as one of the best-selling series ever.

Innards #16: Expanse

Some time ago I got it in my head that I can write well because I enjoy it. These days I’m not so sure. Self-loathing is a thing, gnawing at the back of my head. Wouldn’t go away, no matter how much I shoo it off. That’s alright. I like some self-loathing, keeps me sharp, in some way.

In any case, besides sulking in the corner like a whimpering cretin, I’ve sorted out my writing a bit. Things are looking somewhat hopeful, with the baby on its way and the job hunting and all that shenanigans, all things considered, my writings just got the refresh it much needed.

Year of the Red Whale23%

23% is as much as I can give to my current WIP. As of this writing, the Red Whale has about 50,000 words. The prime original word-count was 120,000 and then I decided to cut it down to 80,000. I’m dancing between the two, since I’m going to self-publish anyway. I can go crazy and push through that 120K, or chop things off with clean 40,000-word novellas. Sounds intriguing. But I don’t want to do that. “Year of the Red Whale” is a self-contained story. My challenge now is deciding to maintain the single protagonist perspective or add a few POV characters. There are four candidates to help expand a ton of things. I hope to finish the final draft of this book by the end of February.

Project Ashes: 15%

Oh, humbug. I have 40,000 words written in the first book of Project Ashes. I have parts of the beginning and parts of the end, with little details in between. This is a grimdark tale that is part of a much larger epic. I’m really excited to devote more time into the completion of this story.

Mindfly3%

Crap. Crap. Crap. Project Mindfly is a novella I’m working on for this month’s Apex Publication’s open submissions. I’m not sure where to put this story, if it’s fantasy or horror. I’ll just say it’s weird. Missing person. Body horror. Time travel with a twist. All that gritty stuff. I’ve began writing this story about two years ago but somewhere down the line I stopped to focus writing Project Ashes, which was, ironically, pushed back because of the Red Whale.

Project Sherlock10%

Every now and then I look back at this WIP. I love it and to me, is a fine project after Project Ashes. It’s got miscreant heroes, adventure, a bit of romance, conspiracy, street gangs, assassins, and an epic showdown in one of the unlikely places. It might involve a little bit of magic and if it does, it will probably be tech-based. Like Jedi lightsabers. If magic does get tangled into the mix, then, Project Sherlock will be part of a much larger world I’ve crafted up. The entire concept is really cool and exciting, so I’m putting a lot of thought into it.

Project Sword0%

Holy shit Jon, what the flying fuck is this? A new project? So soon? You still have a bunch of commitments like Project Ghost, “Tunnel Crow Town,” and “The Conductor.” And there’s a whole lot more. What is this Project Sword? Well, it’s a standard sword and sorcery. I wanted something that’s a little bit traditional. Just a bit. I have the characters mapped out and how some of the scenarios will play out. Yes, it will probably begin in a remote village farm. Yes, it will probably involve a main character who wants to live a normal life but is instead force-fed a destiny with big-ass responsibilities. Yes, it will probably have elves and dwarven folk, talking trees, and the such. And yes, it will probably have a pub scene, which is very important to fantasy stories. I got it covered though and I plan to twist ’em all up. My main concern is two of the characters resemble so much from the ones in Project Ghost. So, I don’t know. Should I merge them or what? We’ll see.

I guess that’s it for now. Here’s Red Hot Chili Pepper’s “Tell me, baby”