A week ago I learned that Paramore will have a concert, five minutes from where I live, in February next year. I have stated, time and again, I’m a huge Hayley Williams fan. Damn it, my background photo in Twitter is Hayley Williams during a concert in Hamburg. The tickets, are only about 200 USD, and I can stand in front of the crowd and enjoy my first live band experience. And yes, also to weep and scream in front of Hayley.
However, my wife is due with our first child in late May or early June next year. That means serious belt tightening, because, come on, once the baby comes out, it’s all expenses until he/she gets their college degree.
Also, we missed out on Bruno Mars and Coldplay concerts, which, I had promised my wife that we would watch – I had, at that time, been trying to win some points so that the wife won’t ever raise concerns when I insist on going to a Paramore concert- which is actually happening in a few months damn it. Alas, fucking hoarders took all the tickets and will be selling them x6 of the actual ticket prices. Come on, we know that’s true.
In any case, I won’t be experiencing Paramore. I won’t ever get to see Hayley Williams and head bang on “That’s What You Get” and “Brick by Boring Brick” and of course, “Pressure.” But oh well.
At least I got to experience Nicholas Eames’ “Kings of the Wyld.”
How the fuck did we get from Paramore to this? I don’t know. I don’t give a shit. All I know “Kings of the Wyld” is fucking awesome. I laughed out loud as the characters engaged in the most hilarious banters and scenarios, I wept with them, and I was head banging all throughout the epic action scenes.
Look, “Kings of the Wyld” is inspired by heavy metal rock stars. It’s a world where, mercenaries, called “Bands” are worshiped as one might Black Sabbath, Metallica, DragonForce, Iron Maiden, you know the who they are. I think I also KISS in there somewhere, maybe also The Runaways. Oh, and Elvis is in it too, at least mentioned.
Do you guys know that scene from “Guardians of the Galaxy”?
I’m talking about this.
Yeah, there’s something like that in the book. And you know what? It’s freaking awesome.
“Kings of the Wyld” has druins. Basically, elves with Playboy bunny ears. Dragons. Manticores. Basilisks. Golems. You name it. It’s “Warcraft” where everything and anything is in there. And you know? It’s freaking awesome.
I’ve read epics, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” “Malazan Book of the Fallen,” partially “Wheel of Time,” “Mistborn,” “The Dark Tower,” you know, the usual stuff, and often these books are massive with complex stories and sinister plot twists. “Kings of the Wyld” does not have any of that. It’s a straightforward, sword and sorcery adventure. And you know what? Damn right you do. It’s freaking awesome.
It’s about a retired band, who’s getting back together for one last gig, which is to rescue the frontman’s (yes, they literally call him the “frontman” of the band) daughter, who is trapped in a city, under siege by all things nasty, led by a druin (technically elves with Playboy bunny ears). This is, by all means, not save the damsel kind of thing. The daughter happens to be a warrior herself who can butcher monsters that come her way.
The entire journey consists of the band getting back together and going through the Wyld – the forest where all things nasty live – in order to reach the city. And look, there’s not much action until the second half of the book, and you know what? That’s just fine. The characters are what makes the story come alive.
Imagine Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Motorhead, or whoever the hell from the ’70s, coming back to the world and then surrounded by the likes of One Direction. Yeah, it’s that kind of surreal experience, where undergarments are flung and taverns set on fire.
Look, the book is awesome and fun.
Now I take my leave and sulk over missing out on this.